The Writing of Cloud Buchholz

"Conversation in a Crowded Room" does not have a normal or original order. This is an experiment in randomizing dialogue. Sometimes it will make sense...sometimes not.

The paragraph order can (and should) be shuffled by clicking the button.

"You haven't done it yet, have you?"



"I didn't think you'd go through with it."

"Hell, none of us thought you had the balls."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Come on, don't take it so personally."

"What'd she say? You know, when it was all over."

"Have a little decency. He's obviously a gentleman."

"Yeah, his cheeks are turning red."


"So what."

"Well, how was it? The best three minutes of your life, right?"

"I see that dreamy look in your eye."

"Yeah buddy, she's got her hooks in you, you know."

"Don't be ridiculous."

"I know what I'm doing."

"This is like watching a wreck in slow motion."

"He hasn't got a clue."

"Any minute you're going to start whining about all this."

"Seriously man, you shouldn't expect to see her a second time. That's all I'm saying."

"I've heard enough of your advice."

"It'll get better. Just give it time."

"I'm doing just fine."


"She's a slut."

"Why don't you take it easy? It's not like she's here to defend herself."

"That's easy for you to say."

"Are you trying to take her side or something?"

"I'm just saying you don't need to be so judgmental. That's all."

"She's only been with one other guy. I don't know if she qualifies as a slut."

"It's not about who she's with. It's about what she does."

"We've all done some crazy shit."

"You think I don't know."

"Alright, alright. Don't get your panties in a twist."

"She's obviously got some daddy issues. That's all I'm saying."

"And you're the expert, right?"

"I've seen her do...things."

"Talk about naive."

"Do I need to spell it out for you?"

"He thinks she loves him."

"You wouldn't know love if it walked up and punched you in the face."

"You've seen how she gets around him."

"She's a lot of things, but I'm sure romantic isn't one of them."

"Who cares about him? Let's find some hotties already."

"You're looking at this all wrong."

"If they want to be together, why don't we just let them?"

"We have to do what's best for you."

"You've always hated her."

"That's a thin line you're about to cross."

"We all make mistakes."


"We're your friends. We're just looking out for you."

"She's worth it. It doesn't matter what you say, she's worth it."

"Don't say she's the one, cause she's not."

"I want to be with her."

"Dude, you never had her, not really."

"Come on, let's get out of here."

"She doesn't, you know, love you."

"Nobody likes taking their medicine, man."

"Be smart about this."

"I feel different when I'm around her."

"She may make you feel amazing, but it's just like a placebo, you know."

"This party's lame. Let's go."

"What? I can barely hear you. The music's too loud."

"Where'd you get that bag of chips? I'm starving."

"You guys seen any beer?"

"Man, whose idea was it to come here? And seriously, who's wearing all that cologne?"

"Crap. Somebody hide me. I think my ex just walked in."

"Take it easy."

"Dude, you're an asshole."

"Yeah. Yeah."


"Damn it's crowded. I'm fighting for air over here."

"Hey, you could always do worse."

"Don't be a dick."

"Have you heard this song? It's like totally my favorite."

"Do you guys smell chicken wings? God, I'm hungry."

"Damn, dude."

"Give it a rest, will ya?"